Sometimes I just want to run back to the girl I met in art history class. The girl with the glasses that always had a story or an opinion. That one that would dance with me from the shadows, before we learned to dance together in the moonlight. She was my first & she was my everything. Somehow now, we're nothing. I miss it all, but I know I can't go back to it, and the pain grows from knowing that there's so much I give to that feeling. I want reruns of a show that only provides new episodes and erases your access to the old ones. But those past seasons were never a waste. The future is molded by the past we knew, but the now is the gift we get to enjoy so long as we get out of our own way. I'm still learning how to do that.
lyrics
Trying hard not to pick the phone up & text you,
All I wanna know is why the fuck I can't forget you,
The way that you erased me,
The way you made me hate me,
You do you with ease,
But fucking you done made me crazy,
Used to call me baby,
Used to want my babies,
Used to beat up bitches who was looking at me brazy,
I'm hazy,
Still remember asking you to date me,
Sitting on my lap while looking back at me & blazing,
Laughing cause I'm cracking jokes bout how dat ass is weighing,
Then telling me to bf, but forreal, and quit the playing,
Okay then,
Sealed with a kiss, then got to K-ing,
Uncles been told me that that pussy nun to play with,
Til you gettin' played with,
Now you on your day shift,
Venting to your manager,
Like, "man, this is damaging my sanity & health,
still don't want nobody else,"
And he look at you like,
"Bro, you really gotta love yourself,"
Cause I been down,
Just got down bad for you,
Calling up my mama like, "I don't know what to do,"
Venting in the journal like, "I gotta break it thru,"
Cause I wanna be a man, the man & her man too,
Speakers Knockin',
Guess I gotta get it on my lonely,
Speakers Knockin',
Guess I gotta get it on my lonely,
Speakers Knockin',
Guess I gotta get it on my lonely,
Shout out to the homies,
5's til they stone me,
Lives intertwine, I got bonds that are frozen,
Even couch surfing,
They said Ty def was chosen,
When I fall in love, I don't just do it for the moment,
I go life-long,
Night's long,
Trynna live & write songs,
Trynna keep the lights on,
Hoping that my sinning leads to winning 'fore my life's gone,
Praying that they guns jam,
"No, I wasn't there, ma'am,
How could I have been?
I never missed a shift at work, ma'am,"
Always put the work in,
Even when I don't know if it's working for certain,
Got it til it's curtains,
Gold with the purp in,
We don't live in LaLa,
We been Lakers from the hurting,
Crying from the trying,
but it's better than the dirt is
credits
from Don't Worry, I'll Be Fine,
released April 3, 2024
Beat produced by Godzay Katana.
Lyrics written & performed by Tyrel John.
Produced on the MPC1000, “Nosthaigia” documents time spent in Thailand via regional music. Available here in an exclusive color vinyl. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 24, 2024
